The Brothers Karamazov полностью

“I went out from you then into the darkness, I wandered about the streets, struggling with myself. And suddenly I hated you so much that my heart could barely stand it. ‘Now,’ I thought, ‘he alone binds me and is my judge; now I cannot renounce my punishment tomorrow, for he knows everything.’ Not that I was afraid you would turn me in (the idea never occurred to me), but I thought: ‘How can I face him if I do not turn myself in?’ And even if you had been in a faraway land, but still alive, the thought that you were alive and knew everything, and were judging me, would in any case have been unbearable. I hated you as if you were the cause of it all and to blame for it all. I came back to you then; I remembered that there was a dagger lying on your table. I sat down, and asked you to sit down, and thought for a whole minute. If I had killed you, I would have perished for that murder in any case, even if I did not tell about my previous crime. But I did not think of that at all, and did not want to think of it at that moment. I simply hated you and wished with all my might to revenge myself on you for everything. But my Lord defeated the devil in my heart. Know, however, that you have never been closer to death.”

A week later he died. The whole town followed his coffin to the grave. The archpriest made a heartfelt speech. They bemoaned the terrible illness that had ended his days. But once he was buried, the whole town rose up against me and even stopped receiving me. It is true that some, a few at first, and then more and more, came to believe in the truth of his testimony and began visiting me all the time, questioning me with great curiosity and joy: for men love the fall of the righteous man and his disgrace. But I kept silent and soon quit the town altogether, and five months later I was deemed worthy by the Lord God to step onto a firm and goodly path, blessing the unseen finger that pointed my way so clearly. And every day, down to this very day, I have remembered the long-suffering servant of God, Mikhail, in my prayers.

Chapter 3

From Talks and Homilies of the Elder Zosima

(e) Some Words about the Russian Monk and His Possible Significance Fathers and teachers, what is a monk? In the enlightened world of today, this word is now uttered in mockery by some, and by others even as a term of abuse. And it gets worse and worse. True, ah, true, among monks there are many parasites, pleasure-seekers, sensualists, and insolent vagabonds. Educated men of the world point this out, saying: “You are idlers, useless members of society, shameless beggars, living on the labor of others.” And yet among monks so many are humble and meek, thirsting for solitude and fervent prayer in peace. People point less often to these monks, and even pass them over in silence, and how surprised they would be if I were to say that from these meek ones, thirsting for solitary prayer, will perhaps come once again the salvation of the Russian land! For truly they are made ready in peace “for the day and the hour, and the month and the year.”^[207] Meanwhile, in their solitude they keep the image of Christ fair and undistorted, in the purity of God’s truth, from the time of the ancient fathers, apostles, and martyrs, and when the need arises they will reveal it to the wavering truth of the world. This is a great thought. This star will shine forth from the East.^[208]