“Is that what you think?” she repeats, her voice quivering. Before I can answer, she turns back to me, searching for the answer. Her eyes are all red. Her shoulders sag. I know that stance-it’s the same one my mom had when she left. The posture of defeat. When I don’t answer, the tears trickle down her cheeks. “You really think I’m that much of a whore?”
I shake my head and go to reach out. When I’d thought about how she’d react, I always assumed it’d be raging anger. I never expected a breakdown. “Nora, you have to understand… ”
She’s not even listening.
Stepping into my arms, she curls into a ball and presses her face against my chest. Her body’s shaking. Unlike with Pam, I can’t argue. Nora’s different.
“I’m sorry,” she sobs, her voice once again cracking. “I’m sorry you even had to think it.”
As her fingers brush against the back of my neck, I hear the hurt in her voice and see the loneliness in her eyes. But as she nuzzles in close, for once, I hold back. Unlike before, I’m not as easily convinced. Not yet. Not until I talk to Vaughn.
Although my destination is the Woodley Park Metro stop, I hop off the train at Dupont Circle. Throughout the twenty-minute walk between the two, I weave through sidestreets, cut across traffic, and race against the grain of every one-way I can find. If they’re following me in a car, they’re lost. If they’re on foot… well, at least I have a chance. Anything to avoid a rerun of the zoo.
Walking past the restaurants and cafés of Woodley Park, I finally feel at home. There’s Lebanese Taverna, where Trey and I came to celebrate his third promotion. And the sushi place where Pam and I ate when her sister came to town. This is where I live-my turf-which is why I notice the unusually clean garbage truck that’s coasting up the block.
As it stops on the corner, I barely give it a second glance. Sure, the driver and the guy emptying the nearby trash cans look a little too chiseled, but it’s not a weak man’s job. Then I notice the sign on the side of the truck-“G B Removal.” Below the company’s name is its phone number, which starts with a 703 area code. Virginia. What’s a Virginia truck doing this far in D.C.? Maybe the work’s contracted out. Knowing D.C.’s public services, it’s certainly possible. But just as I turn away, I hear the broken-glass-raining-bottle-sliding-garbage sound of the metal-can being emptied into the back of the truck. Sound of the city. A sound I hear every night, just as I go to b-My legs cramp up. At night. That’s when I hear it. That’s when they come. Never during the day.
I spin around and look down the block. On the far corner, there’s a trash can overflowing with garbage. That’s where the truck was coming from. A full trash can.
“Can I help you?” a girl wearing head-to-toe black asks.
“No.” Holding imaginary binoculars in front of my eyes, I press them against the plate glass window, block out the glare of the sun, and stare out at the truck. Neither of the two men has given chase. They’re just sitting there. While the loading guy fidgets with something in the back, the driver twists open his thermos, as if he’s suddenly decided to take a break.
The video clerk is getting anxious. “Sir, are you sure I can’t-”
Before she can finish, I rush out of the video store and into the dry cleaners next door. There’s no one at the counter, and I don’t ring the bell for service. Instead, I dash to the window and stare outside. Still haven’t moved. This time, I wait a full minute before I bolt next door to the coffee bar.
A girl wearing an “Eat the Rich” T-shirt asks, “Can I help you with something?”
“No thanks.” Glued to the front window, I give it two minutes and a third “Can-I-help-you?” before I race out the door and into the storefront on my left. I keep it going for two more stores-dart inside, wait, then out and to the left; dart inside, wait, then out and to the left. That’s how I make my way up the block. Each one I go into, I wait a little longer. Let them think it’s a pattern. One more store to go.
At the end of the block I run for the local drugstore, CVS. The way I figure it, I’m up to about a five-minute wait. But this time, after I push open the doors, I just keep running. Straight up the cosmetics aisle. Shampoos on my left, shaving cream on my right. Pharmacy-whiff floats through the air. Without stopping, I dash to the back of the store, around a bend, and down an undecorated back hall. That’s when I spot my destination-it’s what only a local would know, and what the guys in the garbage truck would never guess-that this CVS is the only store on the block with two entrances. Smiling to myself, I throw open the back door and blow out of there like a cannonball. I look back only once. No one’s in pursuit.
