“They’re not strange. They’re obvious,” Wolf said. “Child’s play. You need to build up on them. Like floors in a building—one, two, three, ten . . . Then they might start looking wise and deep. But until that time, seniors are seniors. And all we can do is bask in their smoke and die from envy listening to their records. Like this one guy I know.”
“I wasn’t dying from envy,” Grasshopper protested.
“I was,” Wolf admitted.
“Still,” Grasshopper said stubbornly, “Skull is not a moron. And Ancient isn’t. You’re just jealous.”
“Can’t you hear it?” Blind said suddenly.
This time they did—the faraway voices and shouts. Grasshopper took another peek in the bag with the tapes and then looked at Wolf.
“All right, let’s go,” Wolf said, getting up. “Go and support Stinker’s possessive urges. Something tells me he’s going to get rechristened after today’s show.”
“Into Crocodile?” Grasshopper said.
“Nah. Won’t work. Crocodiles gobble up something and then lie there sleeping, like statues. He’s much too noisy for that. And I don’t think he ever sleeps. Or has enough to eat.”
Grasshopper stuffed the tapes into the nightstand so they’d be safe from Siamese.
Blind didn’t get up.
“Good luck,” he said lazily.
“Do you think we’ll have to shout?” Grasshopper said.
“We’ll see. We’ll play it by ear. Maybe we won’t have to.”
Wolf let him go out first.
The hallway was almost empty, but there was a throng of people at the other end, by the doors of the staff room. The garish shirts and jackets on the seniors’ backs shielded the proceedings from them better than any fence. They couldn’t see Stinker and the cohorts, but they could hear them fine. The clanking of metal on metal and the screams “Down with tyranny!” echoed through the building.
The closer Wolf and Grasshopper got, the louder it became. The seniors weren’t standing in one place. Some of them moved away, laughing, and their spots were immediately taken by others who had just arrived. When Ulysses the wheeler peeled off with a disgusted grimace on his face, Wolf and Grasshopper quickly squeezed in. Now they could finally see.
The posters swayed uncertainly in the feeble hands of Poxy Sissies. Magician, jaw firmly set and eyes bulging, held his above everybody else’s. Stinker, gone livid with the effort and bedecked in badges, brandished
“Down with tyranny! Down with counselors’ despotism! Down . . .” Stinker droned.
“Down with it!” the choir picked up on the exhale.
Elephant whined softly in agreement. Beauty hid himself among the wheelers, keeping his head low so as not to stand out.
Stuffagers, all present, formed a semicircle and swayed to the beat.
The seniors just laughed. Grasshopper thought that there was significantly more shouting than would be expected, and then realized that, to his surprise, Stuffagers were screaming as well.
“Down with teachers!” Crybaby squealed. Whiner incongruously proclaimed, “World peace!” Crook, waving his crutch, demanded, “Living space for the cripples!”
But Stinker’s voice sailed clear above the din. His screams joined with the crashing of the salad bowl and the tooting of the tin trumpet to create one hellish, unbearable cacophony.
Seniors, still laughing, inserted fingers in their ears.
“Could it be that the principal has already jumped out the window?” Wolf shouted to Grasshopper.
Principal hadn’t jumped anywhere. Safe and sound, albeit distinctly greenish in color, he opened the doors of the staff room and waved his hands, trying to shout over the commotion. Short, with a pugnacious gray beard, he resembled a retired pirate, except he didn’t smoke a pipe, wasn’t covered in tattoos, and generally was closer in appearance to a gnome—if not for the shaggy head of an old sailor.
“Attention, squirts!” Boar the senior shouted, raising two fingers in the air.
The seniors guffawed. Stinker, red faced and majestic, waved his little paw, commanding the others to pause. Siamese ceased their racket. Principal’s voice finally broke through the general hubbub.
“At once . . . Outrageous . . . Ankle biters . . .”
“Quiet!” Stinker ordered.
The principal produced a handkerchief and wiped his face.
“If I may be allowed to speak,” he said and had to wait out an explosion of laughter. “I hoped to prevail upon this young gentleman to consider sharing his bounty with others. But I’m afraid that the way this is going I won’t live to see the day. We’ll continue the investigation into where these packages came from and why. In the meantime he can take them away. The sooner the better!”
