‘He spelt “assets” wrongly,’ said Molly.
‘It doesn’t matter. Zambini wanted me to see this, so I need to find out more. I’m thinking the Quarkbeast and I are pivotal in defeating Shandar. But how are we assets, and what do we do?’
‘You need to ask Mother Zenobia,’ said Boo.
‘If she survived the Troll invasion,’ added Tiger.
‘Is she old?’ asked Molly.
I nodded.
‘Then she probably did,’ said the Troll. ‘Humans get very stringy and inedible anywhere past fifty years old. There
We all stared at her.
‘I’ve heard,’ she added hastily.
‘Good to know,’ I said, looking at my watch. ‘If I’m still alive in half an hour, I’ll figure a way to get to what remains of the orphanage and ask her. Is there anything else to discuss?’
‘Yes,’ said Monty, ‘the Trolls. Since they managed to overrun the UnUnited Kingdoms in a little under ten days with consummate ease – why did they never do it before?’
‘Molly?’ I said.
The Troll thought for a moment, trying to tap her Hive Memory for any clues.
‘I think we
‘You’ve got them now,’ said Tiger, ‘there are millions of you.’
‘There aren’t millions of
‘I meant millions of Trolls,’ said Tiger.
‘Oh,’ said Molly, ‘right.’
Monty stared at the Troll and stroked his moustache carefully, then thought of something.
‘I’ve an idea,’ he said, ‘but I’ll need to research previous Troll invasions to try and find a weakness. Molly, would you help me out?’
She said she would be delighted, so long as there was a moussaka in the offing and there was no outdoors or buttons or cerulean blue, and once this was all agreed, I took a deep breath.
‘Okay, time to go and face the music. Tiger, would you fetch Kevin Zip and ask him to join us? We’ll be in the ballroom.’
‘Is there any point?’ asked Tiger. ‘If he’s accurately predicting the near future, he’ll be there when we arrive.’
I said goodbye to everyone and thanked them, told them to carry on the struggle without me if I didn’t make it back, and departed with Tiger, because he said he wouldn’t leave my side even if I yelled at him, and I wasn’t going to do that.
The Quarkbeast, sensing something important was going down, followed us like a lamb.
I wasn’t going to be a coward and have any of Sir Matt’s45 goons searching for me, so I told the receptionist at the hotel I would be in the ballroom. The moonlight spilled into the dark room as I entered, the Quarkbeast and Tiger at my side. True to form, Kevin Zip was already there, waiting for us.
‘Hello,’ he said, ‘I have an idea you need me here with you.’
‘Do you know why?’ I asked.
He smiled.
‘It’ll come to me.’
I turned to Tiger.
‘Look,’ I said, ‘if I don’t last the hour, you must give up the Quarkbeast. Just pop him behind the cold water tank in the loft and say it will take twenty-four hours to find him. With a bit of luck, the worriers will have found the real Princess by then, and we can have an adult in power again.’
‘But—’
‘Don’t argue with me on this, Tiger.’
He fell silent and I took off my coat, pulled on my leather gloves, drew out Exhorbitus and held the blade in front of me. It glowed a soft blue in the darkness, and faint sparkles moved across its highly polished surface.
‘You accept with gratitude,’ said Kevin to Tiger.
‘What do I accept with gratitude?’
‘You’ll find out.’
‘Tiger,’ I said, ‘I’m officially making you the Last Dragonslayer’s apprentice, so Exhorbitus will be yours when I’m gone.’
Exhorbitus had a unique anti-theft device: if anyone but a Dragonslayer or their apprentice touched it, they were vaporised. As my apprentice, Tiger would be the only person able to touch it.
He looked at Kevin Zip, then me and said: ‘I accept with gratitude.’
‘And Tiger?’ I said.
‘Yes?’
‘Thanks for everything.’
‘Jen, there must be another …’
He didn’t get to finish as five of Sir Matt’s goons walked in. Leading them was the dangerous-looking wiry fighter with the wide-set eyes who didn’t look as though he’d be easily swayed by reason or threats. The Quarkbeast was sitting behind me, head cocked on one side, watching the proceedings.
‘Surrender the beast, Miss Strange,’ said the wiry fighter. He had two cutlasses, their scabbards criss-crossed upon his chest. They were short weapons, but deadly when used in pairs at close quarters: like being attacked with a pair of very large scissors.
‘You know what will happen if you …’
His voice had trailed off because Kevin Zip had spoken his
‘My … my argument is not with you, Zip.’
