‘And Bogdan is here in case any of you try to kill us,’ says Elizabeth. ‘I do have a gun, but there are rather a lot of you, so better to be safe than sorry.’
‘Also I was hungry,’ says Bogdan. ‘And I knew Kuldesh.’
‘And how about the four of you?’ says Samantha Barnes. ‘Why are you here? What’s in it for you?’
‘What’s in it for us,’ says Elizabeth, ‘is that someone murdered my husband’s friend, and I would lay fairly good money that it’s someone around this table.’
‘So we’re just going to sit and listen,’ says Joyce. ‘And have a nice lunch, and see if anyone gives themselves away.’
‘However bright they may be,’ says Ibrahim, looking at no one in particular.
‘If you find the heroin,’ says Elizabeth, ‘it’s all yours, we couldn’t give two hoots. So shall we start at the beginning? Ibrahim?’
Ibrahim takes out a file. ‘Mr Maxwell, we’ll start with you. The heroin originates where? Afghanistan?’
‘And a beer tent,’ says Ron. ‘Local beers, see if we can get a discount.’
The main courses have arrived.
Hanif is staying at a hotel called Claridge’s. It’s in the very heart of London, and he has a room on the top floor. And there is only one room on the top floor. It has a private butler, a swimming pool and a grand piano. Hanif can neither swim nor play piano, but they look great on his Instagram.
It is his favourite hotel, for many, many reasons. The location can’t be bettered, close to the shops of Bond Street and Savile Row, and the art galleries of Cork Street. The bar and restaurant are quintessential London, relaxed yet elegant and robustly expensive. But best of all is the absolute discretion of the staff. Hanif, who is forgetful at the best of times, had left a revolver and eighty thousand pounds in cash on his bed when he’d gone downstairs for breakfast, and had come back up to discover that the cleaner had neatly tidied both into a bedside drawer. You just didn’t get that sort of service at the chain hotels.
He has made contact with Mitch Maxwell and presented him with the ultimatum. Find the shipment by the end of the month, or be executed. And he has made sure that the same message has been passed on to Luca Buttaci. The deadline should be sooner, but Hanif is eager to enjoy a couple of weeks in London; he hasn’t been here since university, and also he really wants to see Coldplay at Wembley. If he kills Mitch and Luca, he’ll have to leave straight away, and it won’t do them any harm to have a bit of extra time. Hanif has never met Luca Buttaci, but he and Mitch had met in a FIFA corporate box at the Qatar World Cup and got along famously. Mitch assures him that all is under control, however, so Hanif is optimistic that he won’t have to kill him.
This whole thing, the shipment, was Hanif’s idea, and Sayed is very unhappy with how it is going. If the shipment isn’t found, then, sure, Hanif will kill Mitch and Luca, but on his return to Afghanistan there is no guarantee that Sayed won’t kill him. That’s the game though, that’s why he gets paid. He is going to have a massage this afternoon and try to forget about it for an hour or so.
Tonight there is a party in Mayfair. A Sunday-evening soirée. One of his old friends from Eton is throwing it, and was delighted to see on Instagram that Hanif was in London, if a little surprised to see him playing the piano.
It will be nice to see a few old friends, hear what they are up to, lie about what he’s up to, see if anyone fancies a swim.
Hanif rolls his shoulders – there’s a knot he can’t get rid of. He hopes the masseur will work some magic.
He really wants this plan to succeed. Hanif really doesn’t want to have to kill anyone else. And certainly doesn’t want to be killed. He has until the end of the month.
All in all it would be welcome news if someone could just find that box.
It would be nice to be able to enjoy the Coldplay gig without having to bury any bodies beforehand.
The case has been discussed and dissected over the main course and dessert. While coffees were being served, there was a debate over whether they should hire a marquee, or trust in the August English weather.
‘I didn’t know who Kuldesh was until he was dead,’ says Mitch Maxwell.
‘Same,’ says Luca Buttaci. ‘He was just a guy with a shop.’
‘You’ve got rivals though?’ says Ron. ‘You can’t be the only people selling heroin on the South Coast?’
‘Honest answer,’ says Mitch. ‘If anyone else around here suddenly had heroin to sell, we’d hear about it. You can check that with your mate Connie Johnson.’
‘She’s not my mate,’ says Ron.
Elizabeth asks, ‘And you still deny that Kuldesh contacted you, Samantha? Garth?’
‘I wish he had,’ says Samantha. ‘That would have been a nice easy deal. And I wouldn’t have killed him.’
‘Garth?’
‘I probably would have killed him. Just to keep things neat. But I didn’t.’
‘I have a thought,’ says Samantha. ‘If it might be helpful?’
‘Please,’ says Elizabeth.
