Yasué would probably never see this young woman again. She could afford to speak freely, for once.
‘The truth is that I just had no desire to go out to eat at an expensive restaurant with those ladies. Especially not when I had left the fried rice that I threw together for my husband and son to microwave at home. How silly for me to go out on my own for a set-menu lunch that costs five thousand yen. The thought of it is what made my stomach hurt all of a sudden.’
Yasué paused before adding another excuse.
‘Um … My friend who threw her bag onto the seat … she means well enough but she sees nothing wrong with doing something like that. Of course, I’m at fault for not saying anything but, saving a seat for me the way she did, it was really shameful and embarrassing.’
The college student sat down next to Yasué.
‘… I’m sorry for making that nasty comment, without knowing the circumstances.’
‘Not at all, my dear. As I said, I’m the one at fault for not having the nerve to say anything.’
‘I disagree, auntie.’ The woman looked Yasué intensely in the eyes. ‘If you had said something, the bag-tosser would have hated on you. If I’d known about the hating, I wouldn’t have lumped you in with them. You say that she means well but I don’t think she really does.’
‘Uh … what do you mean by “hated on”?’ Yasué wasn’t sure she’d heard her correctly.
‘It’s just a way to say she’d freeze you out of the group. It’s a phrase we use these days.’
‘How interesting! I’ve never heard it before.’
‘So, you always carry stomach medicine with you?’
‘Lately, this kind of sudden pain has been happening more often,’ Yasué replied softly.
‘Like, whenever you go out with those ladies?’
Yasué nodded freely.
‘’Scuse me for saying this but,’ the student began, her tone not all that concerned, ‘what if you stopped being friends with those women? Before your stomach medicine stops working.’
Yasué tilted her head, as the student added, her tone a bit irritated now, ‘Stress is stress. Being in that group is clearly stressful for you, auntie, for it to trigger a sudden attack like that. But then once you’re away from them, you seem perfectly fine.’
Yasué herself had been vaguely aware of this, but to acknowledge that it was true would have only led to further troublesome realities that she preferred to avoid facing.
‘Well … I’ve known them for a long time.’
‘OK, but let me tell you, auntie, those ladies take you for granted.’
The young woman’s words were so candid and she spoke with such conviction. Yasué was unconsciously gripping the water bottle tightly. The truth was, she had vaguely known this too.
‘When you’re out with a friend who doesn’t feel well, it’d be normal – even if just for show – to get off the train with them to make sure they’re OK. That lot didn’t even get up out of their seats. They were like, “Oh dear, but we’re on our way to lunch,” as if lunch was more important to them than you are. Auntie, it’s like it doesn’t matter to them whether you’re there or not. Do you really think it’s worth the effort of staying friends with people who take you for granted like that?’
‘Hmm … I guess you’re right.’ Yasué found herself nodding vigorously again. Especially in recent years, she had been enjoying herself markedly less and less whenever she was with the group. Maybe it was because, once their children had graduated from junior high and went on to different high schools, they were no longer bound together by the PTA, as it were. The only thing Yasué had ever had in common with those women was their children’s school.
‘Also,’ and here the student’s expression became stern, ‘better to cut ties with people whose values make you uncomfortable. Otherwise, the longer you stay with them, the more you risk compromising your own values for the sake of theirs.’
‘And not being true to yourself might lead you to collapse from the stress. Look at how it’s already affecting you!’ She laughed out loud. ‘So what’s it gonna be?’
Yasué responded with her own question.
‘Why are you telling me all this?’
The student appeared taken aback. She pondered it for a moment and then replied, ‘There was a time when I was headed in the wrong direction and having a hard time, and someone I just happened to meet gave me some good advice. I just happened to meet you today, auntie. I guess that’s why.’
During the daytime, the Imazu Line runs in both directions at ten-minute intervals. Off in the distance, they could just hear the signal at the crossing, heralding the next train’s arrival.
‘Thank you. I hope you’ll take the next train and continue on your way. As for me, I’ll take the next train back home.’
‘OK. You seem better now, but please take care.’
The student stood up from the bench and moved towards a boarding spot on the platform.