TJ’s wife was sleeping on the couch. She had dozed off waiting on them to leave. “Hey,” TJ whispered crouching down to her level. “We’re checking out of here. The train comes in a half hour.”
“God,” she groaned snuggling the pillow. “I can’t believe you’re taking him out this early. That’s too long of a day.”
“Nah, we’ll be fine. I’m cutting out after lunch. Will that work?”
She nodded.
TJ stood when he heard the thumping of feet on the stairs.
“Ready,” Tyler said.
“Where are your glasses?”
With an ‘aw’ Tyler ran back up the stairs, was gone only a moment before he raced back down.
“And what about your jacket?”
“But it’s gonna be a nice day.”
“It’s chilly now.”
“Dad.”
“Jacket.”
“Fine.”
Tyler was gone a few seconds longer, returning with his spring jacket and a foil pack of breakfast tarts. “Can we go now?”
“Yes. Kiss your mother.”
Tyler ran into the living room and skidded to a stop. “She’s sleeping.”
His mother replied, “My eyes are just closed. Have fun.”
“Love you.” Tyler kissed her on the cheek.
“Love you too.”
TJ kissed his wife as well, running his hand over her head before leaving his home. He was smiling and happy about spending time with his son.
It was going to be a great day.
The razor blade was new, purchased just the day before for the occasion. The shiny, sharp object was clutched tight between Abby’s forefinger and thumb. The edge was a millimeter from the skin on her wrist.
She was going to do it.
She had to; she just couldn't go on.
Twice before, she had failed due to her own weakness. No one knew she had made the attempt to take her own life. In fact, the blade to her skin was the closest she had been.
No one knew because no one knew Abby.
The people at Carl’s work did. They had been calling for months for her to pick up her husband’s things. But she couldn’t bring herself to go into New York to do it.
She wasn’t ready.
But they needed the items cleared out.
Quite simply, Abby didn’t want to live.
She was alone, completely alone in not only a new town but also in a new country.
She, Carl and their three year old son had traveled from England, so enthused about his promotion within the international company.
They had a picture perfect dream house.
In fact it still smelled of fresh new paint. Then not even three months into living in Connecticut, Carl and Landon went to the store and were killed in car accident.
Her life ended that evening.
Now she was a mere vessel carrying around her soul. The heartbreak and heartache were relentless. They pounded at her every single waking moment.
She carried an ache in her chest that wouldn’t go away. It was heavy and increased in intensity every single time she thought of her husband and son.
There wasn’t a night she didn’t cry herself to sleep or wake up sobbing.
At first everyone was around her, being supportive, and then as the days dwindled by so did the people who called or stopped by.
Abby was alone.
She had promised she’d come get Carl’s things but she just couldn’t face that.
It was her day to die.
She had gagged on the pills and couldn’t pull the trigger.
But the blade was there now. Right there on her wrist.
One cut, that was all it would take and no one would be around to save her. Hell, no one would find her for days.
She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her brown hair was messy and short. She had tried to put on makeup before going into town to buy the razor blade, but the tears smeared it.
Abby thought she looked old, old and worn out. Her heartache was apparent on her face and it showed in new lines and dark circles.
She thought of her husband, her baby and her heartbreak.
Just as the blade cut and the first drop of blood appeared, Abby folded, broke down sobbing and dropped the blade.
Again, she couldn’t do it.
She hated herself for it.
‘I’m such an asshole,’ Ben thought. Sitting in the driver’s seat, his eyes went from his own reflection in the rearview mirror to the Starbucks’ entrance. He glanced at the time and then back at his reflection again.
He pulled a grey hair, not that it would do any good, but that particular one was wiry and stood up straight.
A huff, another look at the time and he muttered out loud, “I’m an asshole. Sometime today, Lana.”
He shifted his eyes to the Starbucks again and sat straight up when the passenger door opened.
Lana extended the drink carrier to Ben and then slid inside.
“We’re going to miss the train,” he said.
“We’re not going to miss the train,” she replied. “There was a line in there. I swear it went out the door. Why are all these people out and about this time of day? I got you a latte to enjoy on the train.”
“I didn’t want one.”
With a slight shake of her head and roll of her eyes Lana said, “Whatever.”
