Naturally, my motivation to talk to them was appropriately low. I did, however, talk to Danielle almost daily. I thought she was genuinely trying to help me, and each conversation ended with her apologizing for the clusterfuck that was supposed to be the start of our family’s healing process. She also kept inquiring about my nightly disturbances, which made me start to wish I had allowed myself to speak with her much earlier. While I still woke up most nights, the breathing exercise she showed me helped a lot, and I thanked her for her support.
She also helped me make plans for getting my life back on a healthy track, suggesting activities to try out and how to explore new hobbies. I refrained from reminding her of my work schedule, and how I wouldn’t be able to do any of what she suggested once I had to go back to school. She also couldn’t help me with finding new friends, since I spent almost all of my time with work and the people from work, and still didn’t feel like I could just walk up to people in school to start conversations. She wasn’t too happy about me exclusively hanging out with people way older than myself, but she refrained from criticizing it. She did, however, encourage me to start the renovation of my apartment, assuring me there would be no danger of the police suddenly showing up.
So, remembering I enjoyed gaming in the past, I went out and drove to multiple stores to spread out the cash usage, buying a big screen TV, a PlayStation, XBox, Switch, and Steam Link. On a whim, I even picked up a cheap 3D printer that only cost three-hundred dollars, but I would have to assemble it myself. Armed with all that, I got back home and set my living room up as some kind of gaming center. Then something quite unexpected happened.
When I saw the cable clutter, I drove out to Home Depot and bought a whole bunch of adhesive cable ducts and a miter saw. I cut them to length and in angles, organized the cables around the TV, and was suddenly taken aback when I noticed the wall resembling something akin to a circuit board with the TV in the position of the main processor. I liked it. A lot.
So, I took the whole ensemble down again, went back to Home Depot, and got a bunch of wall mount holders for the wireless headset and controllers. I hung them together with the internet router to the wall around the TV, and reworked the cable management in an actual circuit pattern. I realized that working with my hands was fun as hell! I fiddled around with the ideas and, before I even knew it, it was pitch dark outside.
The next day, I drove to Home Depot yet again and bought myself everything a post in the DIY subreddit listed as essential. Then I got to work on my first new hobby in years: Renovating.
First, I switched rooms. The apartment had two bathrooms, one of which was only accessible through one of the bedrooms, so I decided that should be the guest bedroom. l left the bed and desk I already had in there, got rid of all the dead plants, painted the room light gray, and put its own TV in. Then, for my own bedroom, I got a king size bed, built a work desk spanning the whole opposing wall, and finally furnished both bedrooms with a bunch of cabinets I assembled without any help. If I ever wanted a roommate or something, he would be ready to move in immediately. I even stored prepackaged convenience kits in the guest bathroom.
I hung new lamps and placed a few small carpets across the apartment, put Qi-chargers with separate USB ports into the nightstands next to the beds, and fitted shelves for the walk-in closets in the bedrooms. It was quite satisfying when they didn’t come down after I put something on them, and had only drilled into my leg once, when I had the board on my lap and wasn’t prepared for the sudden lack of resistance after the drill had passed through it. At least that finally got me to put together a home remedy kit.
By the end of the week, my bank account had lost twenty percent of its volume, but I had the whole apartment fully furnished, decorated, and even laid out a few subtle LED-Strips I could control with my phone. I realized how happy all this made me. I couldn’t even count how many times I just stood in a room and beheld my work. All of this was my very own achievement. And even if all of the furniture had glossy surfaces in either black, white, or gray, I liked the modern style a lot. All the furniture I ever had in my old room was thrown together without any concept and handed down by the others. Now the entire apartment fit together, and I was dumbstruck at how much of a difference it made! I was actually, totally, and fully content with my new life away from the family in my own home!
As soon as I was done, I knocked on Paul’s door and invited him over to show off, and try out a few of the console games. I think he could somehow feel how big of a thing that was for me, so he just let me drone on about what I did myself with a slight grin on his face.
