“I definitely had more than one girlfriend!” was all he could come up with.
“And how’s that an achievement?” I asked, causing the male part of the room to look at me in disbelief, which made me realize I had to elaborate. “Look at that girlfriend of yours in your lap. You think she’s happy to hear you boasting about having many girlfriends?”
“‘Course! She knows she got the best!” He sounded so smug, I thought he actually believed it.
“Really!? You really think she’s gonna introduce you to her parents, saying ‘
I chuckled when I saw the effect this had. On one side were the guys, who probably wanted to defend themselves but couldn’t correct me without publicly admitting that they weren’t the players they claimed to be in front of their friends. On the other side were the girls, who, at least in part, suddenly had contemplating looks on their faces.
“Oh please! That would help him! You guys can use it to bond with your bosses.” one girl remarked dismissively. Apparently, I found the feminist in the room.
“Sure. If he’s looking to go into male dominated and low paying blue-collar jobs.” I said matter of fact, causing her to raise an eyebrow in doubt. “I’ve been working in a security firm since I was fifteen. And, based on the assignments we get from corporate clients, I can tell you for a fact that companies are not looking to hire walking sexual harassment lawsuits into positions that pay anything worthwhile. They’re looking to hire responsible and reliable people. Switching partners every few months tells them you’re neither.”
“Tim?” Mia suddenly called out to me in a magnificently dry voice. “You sound like my father.”
I blinked for a moment, unsure how to respond. Then I decided to simply keep going like the two of us were already used to.
“Well, with me being a year younger than you, that would probably be weird, but you can call me ‘Daddy’ if you want.”
“EWWW!” Mia screamed, but she was laughing while doing it. So were most of the room’s occupants. Apparently, none of them thought I could possibly be serious.
When Mia was done laughing, though, she inconspicuously turned in her seat and leaned her back into my front. So, after I had involuntarily imagined us as a couple during our shopping trip, now we were sitting on the sofa like one as well!
“Alright, Mr. Relationship Guru. How many girlfriends did
“Only one. And I was very happy with her.” I worked hard to maintain my smile as I answered.
“Oh yeah! You never told me what happened to Tess! Spit it out!” Mia demanded, tilting her head upwards to look at her, not bothering to move away.
“She transferred to the California office in July.” I was not going to tell these people what really happened to Tess. And, honestly, she did move in July.
“Office? OHMYGOD! How old is she!?”
“Thirty. When she moved away, that is.” That was met with general obvious doubt.
“Pic or didn’t happen!” Jack called out, so I pulled out my phone and looked for a photo of Tess.
I had no desire to argue about my honesty in this discussion, so I decided on a rather risque selfie we took right after one of her crazy sex-moods. While it wasn’t revealing too much of our bodies, it was still pretty obvious that we took it naked in bed and covered in sweat.
“Wow!” was all that Mia said, while I received approving comments from the other guys.
“
“Yes. I did. Probably because I don’t refer to her as ‘that girl I tapped’.” While he ignored my look before, I think the cold tone of my voice finally did the trick, because now he had trouble holding my gaze.
In retrospect, I must have had murder in my eyes. Everyone other than the recipient, though, seemed to interpret it in a different way, because I noticed most of the females in the room regard their chosen partners with another set of peculiar looks. It could be my imagination, but it seemed reproachful. Meanwhile, Mia casually grabbed one of my arms and wrapped it around her.
It also seemed like sharing a photo showing Tess and me in postcoital bliss set a new mood in the room. I was finally no longer the prime target for their Truth or Dare, which I was especially happy about since all the questions revolved around sexual experiences.
After about half an hour, there was one question that finally escalated everything.
“Mia!” Jack called out. “Truth or dare?”
“Mhmmm ... Truth!”
“I can’t help but notice the way you’re sitting right now.” he grinned, and I felt Mia’s body stiffen as everyone in the room smirked. “How’d that happen?”
