“So, what’s the chances for you and Aaron getting back together?” I asked, causing Claire to blink at me in confusion for a moment. Then she shared a look with Ava, collected herself, and sighed heavily.
“Until Monday, I would have said the chances are slim.” she reached over and took Ava’s hand. “He hurt your sister when he lied to her, and he’s shown little remorse even after we moved out. But now? After hiding from us that you were in the hospital after being shot, I feel ... I feel like I’ll have to make a decision between him and my children. That is not a competition he could hope to win.”
She looked at me with conviction, and I believed her.
“What about Logan?” I asked next, trying to keep my voice free of emotions and judgment, and saw both of them exchange looks. “He’s one of your children as well.”
“He’s a dick.” Ava suddenly huffed.
“Yeah, but to be fair, he’s been a dick for a while. It’s just the first time you were on the receiving end.” I reminded her.
That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, since she squeezed her mother’s hand and looked at the table in regret after I said it.
“I’m sorry, Tim.” Ava’s voice was remorseful. “When he totally ignored me, like I wasn’t even worth his time if I wouldn’t let him fuck me however he wanted, I felt so ... unwanted. I cried, like, the whole weekend. I can’t even imagine how I must’ve made you feel over the years.”
I refrained from repeating the comment I made when John told me something similar. It wouldn’t do anyone any good.
“Appreciated, but not what I meant. The question is how Mom’s gonna deal with it.” I looked at Claire, waiting for an answer. I deliberately asked how ‘she’ is going to deal with it, not how ‘we’ are going to.
“I don’t know, Honey.” she sighed. “After we moved out, he came over the next day. He did apologize to your sister, saying that he didn’t mean to hurt her, that he simply didn’t realize what effect that could have on her. Then he offered to make it up to her ... but once he realized that none of us was in the mood to continue, he just left. He drove back to his college dorm. just ... I don’t know.”
I did not like the look she gave me. Like she was asking for my opinion. I wanted to know what they were thinking. Learn about their plans on how to turn this shitshow around, and gauge their resolve to follow through with it. If I were to give them my opinion on Logan, tell them how I wasn’t in the least surprised about him not staying to support and help them through this, they would know what I wanted to hear. The danger of that influencing their decision was too great.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t care what you do.” I clarified, and saw both of them flinch again. “Let me finish. I don’t care, because I wouldn’t be able to condone or condemn either decision you make. Aaron and Logan are both burned for me. I want nothing to do with them anymore. But that’s different for you.”
“How do you mean?” Ava asked carefully.
“I’ve dealt with their shit for years, and I’m no longer willing to tolerate either of them in my life. But that’s just me. For you, it’s new. I couldn’t really blame Mom for wanting to try and work on their marriage. They were happily married for over two decades! And, who knows, maybe what happened on Christmas is my fault. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have demanded they use a condom, and the whole debacle would’ve possibly never happened.”
Yes, it was a test. I just hoped they wouldn’t suspect as much, and sincerely think about their options before making a decision. I didn’t want them to say whatever they thought I wanted to hear, just to then turn around later and do what they actually wanted. So, I gave them an Out. The reasons I just listed were genuine points that would excuse getting back together with Aaron and Logan without having to fear my resentment.
“Can ... Can we think about it, Honey?” Claire asked.
“Sure. You should, to be honest.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to keep my facial expression neutral so as to not give my true feelings away. “But while you think about it, I need you to drive me to the bank.”
“Why?”
“I need Aaron removed from my bank account.” I answered matter of fact.
There was an awkward silence for a moment, then Claire just commented with “Oh.”
When we had finished eating, I got up to hobble into my bedroom, I went into my closet, got a change of clothes, and then made my slow way into the bathroom. Though, instead of Claire, like I had expected, Ava showed up to help me.
After I overcame my initial surprise, I allowed her to help me. She must have talked with Claire about this, because she knew exactly what she had to do and how to do it without hurting me, never skipping a beat. When she had started soaping me up with the sponge, though, she broke the silence for the first time.
“I don’t need time to think about it.”
“Huh?”
