Tiny Tim полностью

For a tenth of a second, I imagined grabbing him by his hair and smashing his face into the counter edge. I wouldn’t do it, of course. The knowledge that I could do it was enough to remind myself that, despite him not knowing it, I was the bigger person. I could have started an argument with him, telling him and the rest of the family that I was perfectly average. But then again, that was exactly what I didn’t need. If the only way to get any kind of closeness and compassion out of my own family was to show them my grown dick, then I didn’t want any of it.

“Still wondering why I’d rather not be here?” I asked John with a raised eyebrow, before walking back into the kitchen without giving him the chance to actually answer.

The conversations – or at least the ones involving me – stopped, until we were all sat down to eat. Us four kids on one long side of the table, and the parents and grandparents opposite us with John at the head of the table, since it was his house. This meant that I had John on my left, Danny opposing me, and Ava to my right. I could see Logan’s hand on her thigh. The entire time I was thinking about one thing: Why the fuck did it seem like Logan was running interference whenever someone showed even the faintest interest in me or got close to me? Before I could contemplate that further, however, John had a genius idea.

“You know, we never really followed the proper protocol for Thanksgiving dinners. So, everyone should tell us what you are thankful for this year.” he smiled, fixing me with an expectant look. His wife immediately joined in from across the table, making it clear to me that this was by no means a spontaneous idea John just had. They wanted me to start! I knew they wanted to give me an opportunity to engage with the family, but they still didn’t understand the gravity of the whole situation I was in. What was I supposed to say here!?

My Jeep? I wasn’t thankful for that, I worked hard to earn it! And even then, it was a borderline junker that was in danger of breaking down with any drive that lasted longer than two hours.

My filled bank account? Again, I worked for that. And even then, I only worked so hard because I had nothing else in my life.

That the bullying in school stopped? I made that stop! And even then, only the physical assaults stopped. Am I supposed to be thankful for only being called names and made fun of?

Tess? Well, Tess I was thankful for. But even then ... There was that small problem with our age difference, killing every chance of it ever leading anywhere.

What did I have that I could truly be thankful for? I completely blanked.

Aunt Danielle saw my expression grow more somber by the second as I thought about what to say. And when I glanced up to signal someone else to start, I noticed she looked worried. She didn’t expect me to have such a hard time with this. As the realization settled in that I really couldn’t think of something to truly be thankful for, her expression changed again. She looked kind of ... afraid. As I looked around the table, they all seemed to be waiting for me to start talking. I resigned myself to just being thankful for their cooking, but Uncle John spoke up again and listed exactly the only four points I had just dismissed.

“Come on, Tim. I happen to know a few nice things that happened to you this year. You got yourself a nicely paying Job, a fun Jeep, got very ‘proficient at kicking ass’ as Bill phrased it, and, most important of all, landed yourself the lovely Tess.”

Most of the people at the table reacted to some part of that reminder. Aaron’s ears twitched hearing John mention the ‘nicely paying’ job. Grandpa released a disapproving “Hmpf!” when the Jeep was mentioned. Maggie seemed to be interested in the ass kicking part. Claire and Ava seemed to perk up at hearing the name of Tess. Then something happened that I hadn’t anticipated. Just as Ava turned towards me to ask about Tess, I saw Logan squeeze her thigh and lean in close to her.

“So, money, big car, macho demeanor and eye candy. All four clichés of compensating for ‘something’ in one go.” he whispered, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Just like with Maggie before, it earned him a stern look from Aunt Danielle and Grandma this time, but he got what he wanted. Whatever interest Ava may have had in inquiring about Tess was gone. When it looked like Claire was about to take the opportunity to ask me, he continued by telling us what he was thankful for.

“I’m thankful for spending this time with my loving family, before going off to college!” he proclaimed.