With Claire still standing behind me, I had no way to see her face, but at least Granny did indeed notice my reaction to her touch. Though, I doubt she understood why my reaction was so intense, and simply took it as my acceptance of their advances. While she refrained from commenting about it, she displayed a satisfied smile as she continued her speech.
“I admire your acting responsibly, Pumpkin, but it’s just beer. And not that much for someone your size. But don’t take that as our approval of you drinking beer, young man! You’re still only seventeen!”
“Well, then I’ll better not tell you about all the times the guys at work took me to that strip club.” I told them with a resigned voice. “And no, not because of the beers. The opiates make me super sleepy, and ... weird. But I’m not done here yet.”
“How much longer do you think you’ll be?” Claire asked.
“Well ... the bar closes at midnight. Then he’ll have to shut everything down and lock up. Only then can I start copying files in earnest without the danger of anyone noticing the bandwidth usage. Until then I can at least look through their network. So ... probably an all-nighter.” I concluded. “At least I don’t have to worry about school for five more weeks. If I had known, I would’ve gotten myself stabbed a lot earlier.”
When I said that, I immediately felt Claire’s hands clamp down on my shoulder, and Granny stopped scratching my neck. Then I heard Claire’s whisper.
“Please don’t joke about that, Honey. It scared me senseless when I saw you lying on the ground after hearing the gunshot. And then I saw all the blood ... and the knife ... I never want to see something like that ever again. When they rolled you into surgery and I had to wait for any word on how you were doing ... I thought I’d lose you!”
“Since when do you care whether I’m around?” It was not a vindictive or even accusing tone I used. It was a simple statement, calmly telling her what I truly and honestly believed.
“Of course I care! I’m your mother!” she said, appalled at the notion of me believing anything else.
“You’ve been my mother for quite some time already, but still didn’t notice that I was gone for a week. Last year alone, I spent months at Tess’ place. Did you notice me missing then? As far as I could tell, none of you showed any concern for my wellbeing in years. The only reason you claim to care now, and are even here at all, is because your mother is standing next to you demanding you do your parental duty.” I told her, in an equally calm tone.
“Pumpkin, I know you’re angry. But she is still your mother. Mother’s care for their children, we can’t turn that off.” Granny protested.
“Are you going to tell me, you didn’t expressly send her up here to start fixing our relationship?” Hearing my comment, they both took a step back. I was tempted to turn around just to see what kind of expressions they were showing. “I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to get back at you. I need you to understand that, after four years of leaving me on my own, you shouldn’t throw claims like that around. Don’t tell me how much you care about me simply because you’re my mother. You’ve already disproven that claim.”
I had noticed that I felt better than I had in years after getting it all off my chest in that blowout at Uncle John’s. If, and that’s a big ‘if’, they really intended to work on this, they first needed to know exactly what my problem was and why I wasn’t going to give them the benefit of a doubt.
“Is that why you call her ‘Claire’ instead of ‘Mom’?” Granny asked.
“And why I call her husband Aaron. Yes.”
“Will you at least give us the chance to make this right?” Claire asked, sounding like she was crying again. “You won’t suddenly vanish, right?”
“I promised Tess to finish that damn high school, so I’ll at least stay in town ‘till I graduate. After that ... maybe longer. I like my apartment, and I owe Bill a lot.” I said.
“Then I have more than a year to be an actual Mom for you and make you want to stay.” Claire whispered, before squeezing my shoulders again and kissing me on the top of my head. When I turned my head to look at her as she left the room, I could see her shoulders jump a little every time she released a sob. Granny stayed though.
“Please, Pumpkin, give her a chance. She really wants to make this right.” she said.
“No, she doesn’t. She seemed perfectly fine with how things were before you showed up, and as far as I know, nothing changed. Same for you. You knew about the shit going on here for at least a year. You never told me what stopped you from helping. You told them to fix it and then went M.I.A. for a year. So, it seems to me, you were just as fine with the situation as they were. Why should I give anyone yet another chance?” I simply said.
She was taken aback by being put on the spot so unexpectedly and had to think for a moment.
“Maybe we just realized what we did wrong and want to fix it.” she tried after a few seconds.
