O man of pride and will most obstinate!However can I love thee, being asYou are? But being other than you are,I would not love thee. How this pirate hathLaid claim upon the bounty of my soul!O, wherefore did I speak so testily?Why is it that whenever he is nearMy wit is turn’d to unto a laser beamWith Han plac’d firmly in its sights? I tearHis heart in twain with words too cruel and harsh,Then wonder why he is so full of pride.’Tis now quite clear that he with arroganceDoth speak so that he may his heart protect.Forsooth, was e’er a woman placèd inSo delicate a situation yet?[Exit Princess Leia.
Enter C-3PO.
C-3POO, where is that knave R2 now? For whenI need him most, then is he far away.Perhaps on some adventure, which will serveTo puff him up most mightily, and leaveHim ever bragging o’er his exploits. Pish!The scrawny, errant scamp perplexes me,For he is both my nuisance and delight—The thorn deep in my side and, stranger still,The very object of my happiness.EnterHAN SOLOandCHEWBACCA.
Now, Captain Solo, pray, a word with thee.HAN[aside:] A word from thee belike means hundreds more.C-3POI know not where your ship did learn to speak—It hath a most peculiar dialect.It is as though ’twere programm’d by a thief,And spends its days with smugglers, thugs, and crooks.But now, no more of that; my point is made.It doth report the power coupling onThe axis negative is polariz’d,And must replacèd be to operate.HAN’Tis plain it must replacèd be. PresumeThou not to tell a pilot—one so grandAs me, at least—the bus’ness of his ship.[Exit C-3PO.
[To Chewbacca:] Good Chewie?CHEWBAC.—Egh?HAN—It seems we must replaceThe power coupling negative, yes?CHEWBAC.—Grrm.[Exit Chewbacca.
EnterPRINCESS LEIA, aside, working.
HAN[aside:] We are alone. Yet ev’ry time I haveApproach’d her recently I’ve been rebuff’d.This should not be a nut I cannot crack—I am not ignorant in women’s ways.Although, by troth, most often when I speakOf “she” or “her,” I indicate my ship.And yet, I am a man of many strengths:I pilot ships with talent, skill, and grace,In battles or in races hard to best,My swift maneuvers legendary areAnd through the galaxy my ship is known.But with this princess, all my skill is naught.My tongue is tied, and I resort to barbsAnd witticisms sloppily convey’d.How shall I show this princess my true heart?How set aside my ego and be kind?Here, in this moment, I shall undertakeTo set my pathway not toward my pride,But through the smoother course that runs to love. 
