“What are we going to do, Cass?” he asked unhappily, as they looked at a full moon in a starry sky. It was a perfect night to be in love, but their story was no longer simple. They both longed for the early days when they had spent hours together at the deserted airstrip. They could have done anything then. And instead, they had made such stupid choices, he to fight another war, and she to marry a man she cared for, but didn't love. She knew only too well that despite all her loyalty to Desmond, Nick was the only man she loved or ever would. Maybe one day it would change, but it hadn't yet, and she didn't think it would for a long time, if ever. She'd been kidding herself when she married Desmond, and now that she saw Nick again, she knew it.
“I wish I were going back to England with you,” she said sadly.
“So do I. There are no women flying in combat over there. Not yet anyway, but the limeys are pretty open-minded.”
“Maybe I should run away and join the RAF,” she said, only half serious. She couldn't see how she was going to live her life now. In a way, she was grateful for the tour. At least it would keep her busy, and away from Desmond.
“Maybe I never should have gone in the first place,” he said, surprising her totally. And listening to him worried her. If he lost heart now, he could get hurt. She had heard too many stories like that, of men who lost their girlfriends or their wives, and then got killed in action.
‘It's too late to say that now,” she scolded him, “you'd better pay attention to what you're doing.”
“Look who's talking,” he laughed, thinking of what she was facing in barely more than a month. The thought of her tour still worried him sick, as he invited her to take a walk with him, and they walked slowly from her parents’ house toward the airport. It just seemed to act like a magnet for them. He told her what England was like for him, and she told him about the tour, and their route across the Pacific.
“It's a damn shame the war won't let you do a proper one. I'd feel better than with those long stretches across the Pacific.” But that was where the glory was right now, and they both knew that.
They were at the airport while they talked of it, and almost without thinking, they wandered toward the old Jenny. It was a warm night, and the moon was so bright, they could see easily across the airport.
“Want to go for a ride?” he asked hesitantly. She had a right to tell him to go to hell, but they both knew she didn't want to. She wanted to be alone with him for a while, and forget her other life, and the fact that they had to leave each other again tomorrow. This time maybe forever.
“I'd like that,” she said softly. And without another word, she helped him push the plane out, and do their ground check. They sailed into the midnight sky easily, with all the familiar sounds and feelings. But there was something different about doing it at night. They were in their own world up there, a world full of stars and dreams, where no one else could touch or hurt them.
He hesitated only briefly at the old airstrip where they used to meet, and brought the little plane down easily in the moonlight. And then he shut the engine off, and helped Cassie from the plane. They had no idea where they were going, they just knew they needed to be together now, in their own world, away from everyone. And here it was so peaceful. Without thinking, they both wandered toward the place where they used to sit and talk for hours. She felt so much older now, and so much sadder. Her brother was gone, and she had lost all hope of being Nick's now. It was here that he had kissed her for the first time, and told her he loved her. It was the day he had told her he was joining the RAF. And they'd been making bad decisions ever since then.
“Don't you wish you could turn the clock back sometimes?” she asked, looking up at him as he watched her sadly.
“What would you do differently, Cass? Then, I mean?”
“I'd have told you how much I loved you a long time ago. I never thought you'd care because I was just a kid. I thought you'd laugh at me.” She looked beautiful as he watched her standing beside him.
“I thought your father would have me arrested.” It was strange to realize now that Fat wouldn't have disapproved of him, and they had loved each other for so long. And now she was married to someone else, it was all so crazy.
“My father might have you arrested now,” she smiled, “but not then, I guess.” But she wasn't even sure he'd object now. He knew how much they loved each other, even though this was exactly what he had told her he didn't want her doing. But he had softened so much over the years. He was her closest friend now. Especially now that Nick was gone. Her father had been surprisingly understanding about everything she'd done. It still surprised her.
