The widow and others weren’t strong enough to change reality. All they could do was stay out of this stream of people and sit there with straight faces to show they were different. Clear-sighted people could see the polarization in the ranks and the disagreement in strategy. Although everyone felt the same-that is, they were opposed to X and her family-because of theoretical differences and intellectual disputes, victory became less and less possible. Most of their energy went into the internal struggle. It seemed that this kind of situation wouldn’t change in the near future. Thus, the enemy was able to take advantage of this opening and walk around freely, spouting evil and being very aggressive. Seeing the intrigues that went on day in and day out, the widow was anxious. Every day when it was time for cooling off outside, she was as jittery as an ant on a hot pot as she called together her faction and formed a close charmed circle of these people. They all whispered to one another. The radical faction suggested throwing stones to force those three people ‘‘to go home.’’ The more conservative faction suggested ‘‘temporarily suspending the cooling-off-outside movement’’ so that everyone would be in his or her own home at that time and the street would be deserted. If Madam X and her family still went out walking, fine; if she shouted something like ‘‘there’s not one person here,’’ fine. Anyhow, no one would be able to hear her. After two or three times, they would decide this wasn’t interesting, and they would naturally end their performances.
Tail A: I’m also highly intelligent and cultured. I’m not bad- tempered, and I’m very forbearing. In general, no matter the circumstances, I don’t alter my opinions. But this was obscene (I say obscene, because something was covered up behind it). I was hit by a deathblow and I was duped; my self-confidence wavered. What kind of person am I? Am I a useless idler who’s been following a decent couple every evening just to create rumors and then finally has gotten nothing? Are they really so decent? Could it be that I’ve tailed them night after night just to prove this little bit? Since I can’t prove what I wanted to prove, is it the other way around? Has it proved that I’m a jerk? In the beginning, I considered it a contest of wills. I was confident of victory. Now, I am less and less sure exactly what the problem is. No matter how hard I try, I can’t escape the circle of demons. Nothing is what it seems. I’m so utterly unnerved my shoes slipped off while I was running. Now I suspect I might have been deluded by a lie, that my talent might have been misused. What I’ve been doing is something like alchemy. Is tailing proper for one of my status?
Tail B: To begin with, I had no time to care about these two people’s whereabouts. Think about it: I had always been a tower of strength on the street. All the work was heaped on my head, and I was dead tired every day. I didn’t even have time for a noontime nap, for as soon as I closed my eyes, someone would come and yell at me to put up banners or wall newspapers or call the people together for a meeting. Sometimes, I wanted to sit down and have a cigarette, but I couldn’t because jealous people were always coveting my leadership position. I am a proud person. I wanted to do well in everything so that people would respect me. So where did I have the time and energy to be concerned with side issues? I throw myself wholeheartedly into whatever I do.
