not to wonder where she is. Not to wonder if someones hurt she
looked away, her voice breaking.
“You dont have as much experience with this kind of waiting, of not
knowing or understanding whats going on, as I have, Blair said
emphatical y. “And Im glad. But now youve fal en in love with
someone whose whole life has been a secret. Shes always going to have
secrets, Diane, and you cant let that eat you up.
Diane regarded Blair as if seeing her for the first time. “How do you
handle it with Cam?
“Not very wel most of the time, Blair said, grinning sheepishly. “After
a while you accept that there are parts of themselves they dont, or cant,
let us see. And once youre done being pissed of by it, you understand
that those are the parts that make them frighteningly good at what they
do. Valerie has to be that kind of good to have ever fooled Cam.
Diane smiled weakly. “I guess the fact that my girlfriend and your
girlfriend have
a history makes some kind of cosmic sense,
doesnt it?
“That just might be the understatement of the year. Blair laughed briefly,
thinking of the night shed unexpectedly discovered Valerie at Cams
apartment in DC, and recognizing their connection, how much she had
resented the place Valerie held in Cams heart. Cam swore that there
was nothing between them any longer, and Blair knew that Cam
believed it. But she had seen something that Cam had not. There had
been a sadness in Valeries eyes that Blair understood with perfect
clarity. Valerie had been deeply in love with Cam. Thinking about that
sadness now, Blair found that she no longer resented what Valerie and
Cam had shared. Valerie had been there when Cam needed someone,
and that was al that real y mattered.
“Shel need you, Di. Shel need you, but she wont let you know. Blair
reached for Dianes hand. “Thats the hardest thing to rememberthat
the need is there, even though its buried so deeply even she cant see it.
Its a pain in the ass, but youl just have to get used to it. I know youre
strong enough, and stubborn enough, to do it.
“I dont feel very strong
sometimes.
“Then thats when you come find me, and Il
remind you.
“It helps to be with you, and I usual y love Whitley Point, Diane
confessed, “but the quiet is driving me a lit le bit crazy right now. Ive got
too much time to think. Maybe I should go back to Manhattan.
Blair shook her head vehemently. “Not a chance. I want you to come
to the fundraiser Saturday night. And if Paula can take it, wel go
shopping again.
“Okay. Diane laughed shakily as she glanced out the rear of the
vehicle to where Stark and Hara sat in the Suburban. “If I have to suf
er, I suppose she can too.
“There, see? Youre sounding bet er already, Blair said, smiling. “Here
comes
Tanner. Il get in the
back.
As Blair stepped from the car, she caught sight of Tanners
expression and stopped. “What is it?
Tanner handed her the Boston Globe. “I dont know how you put up
with this shit al the time. She slid into the front seat and slammed the
door.
Blair glanced down at the grainy picture of her in Paris with Cam
standing just behind her. The caption read “Presidents daughter to
marry lesbian loverAnti- same sex marriage groups protest.
“Wel , Blair said as she climbed into the backseat, “Boston is looking a
lot more interesting.
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, trying not to think
about the crush of reporters sure to be waiting for her when she arrived
at the fundraiser. She had wanted to go public, because any at empt
to would make her and her father appear like hypocrites when news of
her plans inevitably leaked out. Nothing could be worse for a politician
than the appearance of having one set of standards in public and another
in private. Shed insisted on disclosure, but it was never easy exposing
her personal life to public scrutiny.
“Let me see that, Diane said.
“Hey Tanner, Blair said, handing the newspaper to Diane as
Tanner rocketed the SUV out of the parking lot and onto the
narrow twisting road that hugged the ocean shoreline. Gravel
spewed out behind them.
“What? Tanner snapped.
“Its okay. Its just another day at the
office.
“It sucks.
“Yeah, that, too. Blair leaned forward and squeezed Tanners
shoulder. “But try not to give Stark a heart attack and slow
down a little.
Tanner half turned her head, a grin pul ing at her mouth. Then
she looked back to the road and eased off on the gas. “Sorry,
force of habit. Im used to you tel ing me to lose your spookies.
“Yes, Blair said softly. “How things have changed.
* * * * *
Cams jaw tightened as she scanned the newspaper. “Call
Lucinda and tell her youre canceling for the fundraiser.
Blair braced both arms on the kitchen counter behind her
