The Great Troll War полностью

‘You’ve got me all wrong: I’m not immoral, for that would make me at worst deceitful or unprincipled, as I would understand the wickedness behind my actions. No, I am amoral – without any morals at all. I see, I want, I take – without guilt, pity, mercy or sorrow.’

‘And how’s that working out for you?’

‘It’s working out very well,’ he said, indicating the surroundings, ‘as you can plainly see.’

He stepped closer.

‘Look into my eyes, Jennifer, and see if you can tell me what is missing.’

He was uncomfortably close, and I could smell the salt and vinegar crisps on his breath. But I did what he asked, and stared into his eyes. They were dark and empty like Once Magnificent Boo’s, but while the ancient sorceress’s eyes had a sense of bruised yet defiant humanity within them, Shandar’s had none, and I shivered.

‘Oh my goodness,’ I said in a quiet voice, ‘you have no soul.’

‘Correct,’ he said, ‘and it’s so much easier. A conscience is as much a barrier to knowledge as biology is to eternal life. Eventually, I will have both.’

‘So long as you get the Quarkbeast.’

‘You’ll come round to it,’ he said, ‘and you will join me on this journey, as will Miss D’Argento – you will not be friends to begin with, but will learn to enjoy each other’s company, like sisters.’

‘Very cosy.’

‘I’m offering eternal life and the ultimate answer to everything. What’s not to like?’

‘There’ll be something not to like,’ I said. ‘I can smell a catch in all this. It permeates your words, like cheap cologne.’

He smiled again, but I could see now that it was utterly devoid of warmth, humour and humanity. I shivered. There is little defence against someone with no soul. Even a Troll can keep a promise.

I’m going home now,’ I said, ‘and once there, I will figure out a way to vanquish you.’

‘Good luck with that,’ he said. ‘You’ve been an exciting adversary, but I think we’re pretty near the endgame. I will have the Quarkbeasts, they will conjoin, I will have eternal life, you will join me on my journey. It is foreseen, it is inevitable.’

‘The one thing I’ve learned about premonitions,’ I said slowly, ‘is that they come true in unexpected ways.’

‘I think we’ve talked enough, Jenny. If you haven’t surrendered the Quarkbeast to me before sunrise on Monday morning, then the Trolls will come into Penzance, and I will have the Quarkbeast anyway.’

He touched me on the shoulder and I felt the warm fizzy sensation of a user-defined enchantment.

‘When you’re ready to go,’ he said, ‘just click your heels twice and name your destination.’

And he vanished.

I looked across at D’Argento, who smiled back at me. Unlike Shandar’s smile, hers appeared almost genuine.

‘You agree with all that?’ I asked her.

‘Of course,’ she replied. ‘The Mighty Shandar is a true visionary. The Everything Project is a venture of extraordinary scope and ambition in which I am hugely honoured to play a part – as will you be.’

‘Cosying up to a man with no soul isn’t going to end well, D’Argento. It never does.’

‘Undertaking a self-soulectomy43 is just one of the many sacrifices Shandar has made on the altar of human enlightenment. Dispelling the Better Angels of his Nature was a difficult decision – but necessary.’

I stared at her for a moment in silence.

‘C’mon,’ I said, ‘he’s gone. Tell me what you really think – and what he’s actually up to?’

I saw the briefest flicker of doubt cross her face, then it was gone. It was a loaded question, and her reaction was what I was looking for. She couldn’t tell me anything even if she wanted to. Shandar would be watching and listening right now. She may even have been beguiled; possibly her will was not her own.

‘The Everything Project was four centuries in the making,’ she said. ‘Once His Mightiness has the Quarkbeast he will reveal all – and you will clamour to be by his side.’

‘Don’t count on it, D’Argento – and look, thanks for the milkshake.’

I tapped my heels twice and murmured ‘Queens Hotel, Penzance’. There was a sound like a thousand crisp packets being scrunched in unison, and there I was, outside the main entrance just across from the promenade. All the street lights were on and scattered groups of people were out for a walk in the warm night air. The Quarkbeast, who usually sat on the top step to soak up the sun when it was sunny and the water when it was rainy, sat up and wagged his weighted tail happily.

‘Quark,’ he said.

‘Hello, boy,’ I said, stepping forward to tickle him under the chin. ‘What’s been going on?’

‘Qu-ark,’ he replied, and his tail dropped. This didn’t sound good at all, so I hurried up the steps into the hotel.