“Intelligent and holy, Your Majesty ascended the throne. You have fallen upon evil days, but have been diligent, modest, and untiring in your efforts. Now the great mountains have sent forth spirits, and people of genius appear.
“I, your humble servant, know of a certain simple scholar, Mi Heng by name, of Pingyuan, a young man of twenty-four. His moral character is excellent, his talents eminent. As a youth he took a high place in study and penetrated the most secret arcane of learning. What he glanced at he could repeat, what he heard once he never forgot. He is naturally high principled, and his thoughts are divine. Sang Hongyang's mental calculations and Zhang Anshi's memorial feats compared with Mi Heng's powers are no longer wonderful. Loyal, sincere, correct, and straight-forward, his ambition is unsullied. He regards the good with trembling respect; he detests the evil with uncompromising hatred. Ren Zuo in unflinching candor, Shi Yu in severe rectitude, never surpassed him.
“Hundreds of hawks are not worth one osprey. If Mi Heng be given a court appointment, notable results must follow. Ready in debate, rapid in utterance, his overwhelming intelligence wells up in profusion; in the solution of doubts and the unraveling of difficulties he has no peer.
“In former days of Han, Jia Yi begged to be sent on trial to a vassal state for the control of the Xiongnu tribespeople; Zhong Jun offered to bring back the Prince of Nanyue to do homage to the emperor. The generous conduct of these youths has been much admired.
“In our day Lu Cui and Yan Xiang, remarkable for their talents, have been appointed among the secretaries. And Mi Heng is no less capable. Should he be got, then all possibilities may be realized; the dragon may curvet through the celestial streets and soar along the Milky Way; fame will extend to the poles of the universe and hang in the firmament with rainbow glory. He would be the glory of all the present Ministers and enhance the majesty of the Palace itself. The Music will acquire new beauties, and the Palace will contain an excellent treasure. People like Mi Heng are but few. As in the recitation of 'Ji Chu Songs' and the singing of 'Yang E Poems,' the most skillful performers are sought; and such fleet horses as 'Fei Tu Broncos' and 'Yao Miao Mustangs' were looked for by the famous judges of horses, Wang Liang and Bo Le; so I, the humble one, dare not conceal this man. Your Majesty is careful in the selection of servants and should try him. Let him be summoned as he is, simply clad in his serge dress; and should he not appear worthy, then may I be punished for the fault of deception.”
The Emperor read the memorial and passed it to his Prime Minister, who duly summoned Mi Heng. He came, but after his formal salutations were over, he was left standing and not invited to sit down. Looking up to heaven, he sighed deeply, saying, “Wide as is the universe, it cannot produce the person.”
“Under my orders are scores of people whom the world call heroes. What do you mean by saying there is not the person,” said Cao Cao.
“I should be glad to hear who they are,” said Mi Heng.
“Xun Yu, Xun You, Guo Jia, and Cheng Yu are all people of profound skill and long views, superior to Xiao He and Chen Ping. Zhang Liao, Xu Chu, Li Dian, and Yue Jin are bravest of the brave, better than Cen Peng and Ma Wu. Lu Qian and Man Chong are my secretaries; Yu Jin and Xu Huang are my van leaders; Xiahou Dun is one of the world's marvels, Cao Ren is the most successful leader of the age. Now say you there are not the people?”
“Sir, you are quite mistaken,” said Mi Heng with a smile. “I know all these things you call people. Xun Yu is qualified to pose at a funeral or ask after a sick man; Xun You is fit to be a tomb guardian; Cheng Yu might be sent to shut doors and bolt windows; and Guo Jia is a reciter of poems; Zhang Liao might beat drums and clang gongs; Xu Chu might lead cattle to pasture; Yue Jin would make a fair reader of elegy; Li Dian could carry dispatches and notices; Lu Qian would be a fair armorer; Man Chong could be sent to drink wine and eat brewers' grains; Yu Jin might be of use to carry planks and build walls; Xu Huang might be employed to kill pigs and slay dogs; Xiahou Dun should be styled 'Whole Body General,' and Cao Ren should be called 'Money-grubbing Governor.' As for the remainder, they are mere clothes shelves, rice sacks, wine vases, flesh bags.”
“And what special gifts have you?” said Cao Cao angrily.
