“I know everything in heaven above and the earth beneath. I am conversant with the Three Religions and the Nine Systems of Philosophy. I could make my prince the rival of Kings Yao and Shun ((two ideal kings)), and I myself could compare in virtue with Confucius and Mencius ((two great philosophers)). Can I discuss on even terms with common people?”
Now Zhang Liao was present, and he raised his sword to strike down the impudent visitor who spoke thus to his master, but Cao Cao said, “I want another drummer boy to play on occasions of congratulation in the court. I will confer this office upon him.”
Instead of indignantly declining this, Mi Heng accepted the position and went out.
“He spoke very impertinently;” said Zhang Liao, “why did you not put him to death?”
“He has something of a reputation; empty, but people have heard of him and so, if I put him to death, they would say I was intolerant. As he thinks he has ability, I have made him a drummer to mortify him.”
Soon after Cao Cao instituted a banquet in the capital at which the guests were many. The drums were to be played, and the old drummers were ordered to wear new clothes. But the new drummer Mi Heng took his place with the other musicians clad in old and worn garments. The piece chosen was the “Tolling of Yuyang,” and from the earliest taps on the drum the effect was exquisite, profound as the notes from metal and stone.
The performance stirred deeply the emotions of every guest; some even shed tears. Seeing all eyes turned on the shabby performer, the attendants said, “Why did you not put on your new uniform?”
Mi Heng turned to them, slipped off his frayed and torn robe and stood there in full view, naked as he was born. The assembled guests covered their faces. Then the drummer composedly drew on his nether garments.
“Why do you behave so rudely at court?” said Cao Cao.
“To flout one's prince and insult one's superiors is the real rudeness,” cried Mi Heng. “I bare my natural body as an emblem of my purity.”
“So you are pure! And who is foul?”
“You do not distinguish between the wise and the foolish, which is to have foul vision. You have never read the Odes or the Histories, which is to have foul speech. You are deaf to honest words, which is to have foul ears. You are unable to reconcile antiquity with today, which is to be foul without. You cannot tolerate the nobles, which is to be foul within. You harbor thoughts of rebellion, which is to have a foul heart. I am one of the most famous scholars in the empire, and you make me a drummer boy, that is as Yang Huo belittling Confucius or Zang Cang vilifying Mencius. You desire to be chief and arbitrator of the great nobles, yet you treat me thus!”
Now Kong Rong who had recommended Mi Heng for employment was among the guests, and he feared for the life of his friend. Wherefore he tried to calm the storm.
“Mi Heng is only guilty of a misdemeanor like Fu Yue',” cried Kong Rong. “He is not a man likely to disturb your dreams, Illustrious Sir.”
Pointing to Mi Heng, the Prime Minister said, “I will send you to Jingzhou as my messenger; and if Liu Biao surrender to me, I will give you a post at court.”
But Mi Heng was unwilling to go. So Cao Cao bade two of his men prepare three horses, and they set Mi Heng on the middle one and dragged him along the road between them.
It is also related that a great number of officers of all ranks assembled at the East Fritillary Gate to see the messenger start.
Xun Yu said, “When Mi Heng comes, we will not rise to salute him.”
So when Mi Heng came, dismounted, and entered the waiting room, they all sat stiff and silent. Mi Heng uttered a loud cry.
“What is that for?” said Xun Yu. “Should not one cry out when one enters a coffin?” said Mi Heng.
“We may be corpses,” shouted they altogether, “but you are a wandering headless ghost.”
“I am a minister of Han and not a partisan of Cao Cao's,” cried Mi Heng. “You cannot say I have no head.”
They were angry enough to kill him, but Xun Yu checked them, saying, “He is a paltry fellow; it is not worth soiling your blades with his blood.”
“I am paltry, and yet I have the soul of a man, and you are mere worms,” said Mi Heng.
They went their ways, all very angry. Mi Heng went on his journey and presently reached Jingzhou, where he saw Liu Biao. After that, under pretense of extolling Liu Biao's virtue, he lampooned Liu Biao who was annoyed and sent him to Jiangxia to see Huang Zu.
“Why did you not put the fellow to death for lampooning you?” said one to Liu Biao.
“You see he shamed Cao Cao, but Cao Cao did not kill him as Cao Cao feared to lose popular favor. So Cao Cao sent him to me, thinking to borrow my hand to slay him and so suffer the loss of my good name. I have sent him on to Huang Zu to let Cao Cao see that I understood.”
