“Just to be sure. Did you plan to eat nothing but takeout? ‘Cause I don’t see any kitchenware either. Or tableware, for that matter. How about toilet paper? Don’t tell me you’re only gonna greet people with your right hand from now on.” He asked, laughing hard by the end.
“Well ... maybe I was a little too enthusiastic to get here...”
“Yeah, I was the same when I left for college. Dried myself off after showers with a dirty shirt, ‘cause I didn’t think about towels. You still got some savings left?” he asked, and I nodded. “Alright. Come on. There’s an Ikea not too far from here. For Christ’s sake, you didn’t even bring a blanket or a pillow.”
Paul and I drove in separate cars, so he could put stuff in his pick up truck. He pointed out quite a few things I hadn’t thought about, so I was loudly groaning when I had roughly eight-hundred dollars worth of the most mundane everyday items on my list that had always just ... been available.
“Don’t forget the living room.” Paul reminded me.
“I spend most of my time either in bed or in front of the computer. I don’t need a living room right now.”
“Yes, you do. When the others come over for the housewarming party.”
I blinked at him for a moment. “And when exactly is that going to happen?”
“We decided on Seven PM, which means that we have enough time to assemble everything ... If they deliver in time. I don’t think we’ll get a corner sofa and two armchairs on my truck with everything else.”
I grumbled but was secretly happy. I had never been to a party, much less hosted one because nobody would show up anyway, so this was already turning out to be the first day of my better life! Paul had a blast teasing me about my earlier grumbling, when he saw me pick out a bunch of cups with a huge grin on my face.
“I gotta say, man ... you have a weird taste.” Paul commented with a light scowl back in the apartment. “Everything you picked is either white, black, or gray. I didn’t even know Ikea sells dark gray toilet paper that isn’t recycled!?”
“Not gonna lie, I like it. Reflects how bland I am. But it also has the added benefit that I don’t have to spend extra time looking for stuff that fits together and into the apartment.”
“Your walls are entirely white, dude. Anything fits in here.” he laughed.
We spent two hours assembling and arranging everything and preparing the bathroom, before the delivery truck with the sofa and armchairs arrived. After another hour of figuring out how to get the sitting arrangements through the door, I could finally start unpacking while Paul excused himself to make arrangements for the party. I quickly went shopping for snacks and had barely enough time to take a shower before Paul came back with a beer crate. I ordered a bunch of pizzas and the evening started.
They coordinated themselves well. Eight people from work showed up, including Bill and his wife, and all of them presented me with the exact same potted plant as a housewarming gift. At least I now had something to put on the window stills. Until they died, that is.
Bill’s wife had a different idea, though, as she gifted me a stack of framed pictures showing me and Tess at work, in the company gym, and at the after-work get-togethers. I had no idea how she got a hold of them all, nor did I ever notice just how obvious Tess and I had behaved in front of all these people. I thanked her with a hug before fleeing into the second bathroom to hide for a few minutes. I only had a few selfies we took together to remember her, and since I had taken those with my flip phone camera, this meant a lot to me.
I had a great time, and actually managed to not miss Tess for a few hours! The guys told stories about their first time living alone, assured me how none of them found themselves in half furnished rooms like I did, and told me how this would be the best time of my life. Apparently, living alone would be a big plus when getting to know women, which I doubted though.
As expected, it took the family six days to realize I was gone. At least I think that was when they really realized it, because it was Thursday during lunch break at school when Ava came storming to my table. She was followed by Joan and Mia, whom I hadn’t seen since Ava’s seventeenth birthday.
“Tiny! What the fuck is going on!? Mom just called, screaming at me to check if you’re in school! Why aren’t you answering your phone?” she asked, more annoyed than anything.
“My phone is on silent when I’m in school. Just tell her I’m here and then fuck off again.” I said dismissively.
“Why would she ask me that in the first place? What did you do?” Her two friends seemed quite amused about the spectacle.
“Really? You don’t know?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I did.” Her tone told me in no uncertain terms that I was to finally use my brain.
“Wow. What a loving family I have. Took them six days to notice that their youngest child moved out.” I said, looking her dead in the eyes.
