“How the hell are we supposed to do that, Aaron!?” Now Claire sounded angry when she asked that. “He got so hurt protecting us from these men, but then didn’t want me anywhere near him! You didn’t see the way he looked at me when he woke up and noticed me holding his hand. Or when Ava tried to. And you didn’t hear him explode when Danny tried to talk to him. How could we reconnect with him if he doesn’t even want to be near us!?”
By the end, Claire’s voice was sorrowful again, and she leaned into Aaron to cry on his shoulder.
Strangely enough, I didn’t feel anything watching this scene. Yes, it seemed like she was honestly regretting what happened, and was apparently devastated about the current state of our relationship. But that wasn’t the first time she regretted something about our relationship. She greatly regretted forgetting about my birthday last year, after her mother scolded her for it, and what came of it? And if our relationship means so much to her that she was now devastated about it, how could she let it continue to deteriorate for a whole year in the first place?
But, most importantly, why was she alone with this? Aaron certainly didn’t sound like he was eagerly looking for ways to make this relationship happen, he just said what came to his mind to calm Claire down. He wasn’t offering solutions or even tangible ideas, he only offered empty promises and platitudes. While I wasn’t surprised that Logan wasn’t there with them, Ava was nowhere to be seen either, and I had shielded her just as much as Claire.
At least she confirmed what I had already believed ever since Ava’s sixteenth birthday. The reason for them neglecting me, and the reason Princess and Golden Boy could get away with whatever crap they caused while I was held in contempt for the smallest mistakes, was that they simply preferred the two kids they could fuck. She would get over it, like always. Logan’s dick would take care of that.
And then I suddenly and finally understood why Logan and Ava were always so eager to make my life hell, and worked so hard to drive me away. I felt stupid for not thinking of it earlier. They didn’t want to lose their special standing! That’s what all the ridicule and humiliation was about. Keeping their parents from becoming interested in me! And they made me a laughingstock and ran interference whenever they could so I’d eventually just leave and they would never have to share.
Well, it worked. There was no way I would move back in and play happy family, just to screw with their little paradise of entitlement. I could make a move on Claire, Aunt Danielle, and Maggie simply to spite them. But then again ... why would I want them? Would that make everything fine again? I didn’t think so. What I had with Tess had shown me that I would never be happy with anything this ‘family’ could offer me. I didn’t just want sex, I wanted and needed companionship. And my only companion was gone.
I quietly moved to my room, closed the door, and set up my laptop. Around Eight PM I was getting tired. I had confined myself to my bedroom again to avoid the others, and luckily nobody came to check on me either. But now I desperately needed a shower. The doctor had told me to wait with it until the staples were out, but the smell I was giving off was ... manly. And it made me think that going yet another day without a proper wash, and certainly another week, presented a higher health risk than a little soap in the incisions.
I had showered with open wounds on my body many times before, when the bullying in school was still more than just insults and jokes on my behalf. So, I already knew the soap wouldn’t sting as long as I didn’t remove the gauze pads until I was done rinsing myself off.
After the shower, I replaced the soaked gauze pads by taping a few big bandaids over the wounds, painstakingly rewrapped my chest, and was thoroughly beaten. All the movement had greatly aggravated my ribs, so I opted for the opiates the doctor had given me, dropped on my bed, and was out like a light.
I dreamt of Tess. We were at another street fair, trying out all the food stalls. Then we were back in her living room, simply enjoying each other’s company cuddled up on the sofa. Then I felt something shift, and we were in my bedroom together. She had just sat on the edge of my bed, wearing only a pair of panties under a thin morning coat, looking into my face and examining my swollen right eye with a worried expression.
“Hey.” I smiled at her, and the hand that was lightly brushing along my forehead stopped.
“I’m Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you. I ... I just wanted to check on you.” she said quietly, sounding worried. It took me a moment to remember what happened that day, and consequently how I must have looked.
“Don’t worry. Looks way worse than it is.” I said, in a sleepy whisper. “I’ll be perfectly fine in a few days.”
