“I realize that. God help me, I couldn’t bear seeing you married to another man ever again.”
He lowered himself to bended knee, holding his hands in hers.
“You’ve always been my dream. I want to be your husband. I want to be a father. And it’s all because of you, Flora. You make everything seem possible. Your courage… you make me possible. All I really want is for you to forgive me and let me love you as you deserve—as I desire.”
He placed his hand on her stomach. “You were the one to teach me the meaning of love. Love is selfless, caring, but it also takes courage. I was such a coward when I first met you.” He took a deep breath and calmness descended. “Will you marry me and live by my side and if God sees fit give me a son.”
A tear splashed his hand. “Yes. Oh, yes.”
And just like that his fear melted away. The feel of her hands in his and the love shining from her eyes made everything seem conceivable. He would have faith.
Without further words he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed. As he lowered them both to the sheets, and began to remove her attire, his heart sang with hope. This time he would take his time savoring the fact she was his to protect and love as God saw fit.
EPILOGUE
THE FIRE in the grate of the drawing room in Monreith House burned bright as it neared midnight, making the room stifling hot, yet the ice in his gut would not melt. It had been over twenty hours since Flora began to give birth.
He had given up pacing the room hours ago, and now he simply sat staring out the window praying, even the whisky was forgotten.
Angus and Stuart had begged him to leave with them to the local tavern while Flora gave birth, but he could not leave her now. He wasn’t there for Connie and look how that ended. He had this foolish hope that if he stayed everything would be all right.
Earlier when he’d visited her in her bedchamber, Flora too had tried to get him to leave.
“Go with Angus. I will be perfectly fine. Doctor Mallard and the midwife are here, and so are Mary and Tessa. They won’t let anything happen to me.”
“I’m not leaving.”
Mary began pushing Dougray out of Flora’s birthing chamber. “You’ll only get in the way. I promise to come and get you when your son or daughter arrives.”
Tessa sighed and tried to lighten the gravity of the situation. “Men. They make such a fuss.”
Flora smiled then grimaced as a contraction gripped her. Finally she said to her friends, “Dougray has to push his fears aside and be strong for those who need him—myself included.” She spoke quietly to him. “I need you to be strong. I can’t have you falling to pieces now. So please, my love, go. I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”
“I am not falling to pieces, but Christ I feel very entitled to worry about my wife,” he growled. “I do love you.”
Flora laughed and Tessa said, “Society expects men to be impervious to pain, or emotion. Yet, they are only human. I’ve seen your brother on his knees beside my bed begging God to keep me, and the baby, safe. He’s cried in my arms wishing he could birth our babes himself.”
“Right at this moment I wish Dougray could,” Flora hissed through the pain of another contraction. “So, trust me when I say it’s time to leave. Go and be with Angus and Stuart. Drink whisky and think up names for our child.”
So he had done as he was told, but every hour he waited his nausea rose. The uselessness he felt at this moment unmanned him. He hated the lack of control over his destiny and the idea of leaving her safety to fate scared him witless. Fate had never been anything but a bastard to him.
“I don’t know how you two lived through your wives giving birth more than once.”
Stuart cleared his throat and sank into the chair opposite Dougray. “The birth is but a moment in time.” Stuart looked at Connor. The young man was sitting next to his father, his face also showing the strain of the wait. Connor loved Flora as if she were his mother. “Look at the joy Connor has brought to your life. Children are our destiny, our future, and they carry our hopes and dreams. Women instinctively know this. Why else would they go through the pain and danger more than once?”
“Aye, they are far the braver and stronger of the sexes,” Angus added on another gulp of whisky.
Dougray smiled at Connor. “I thank your mother every day in my prayers for giving you to me. She would be so proud of the man you’ve become.”
He beamed at his father and reached out and took his hand. “Flora is the strongest woman I know, father. She will be fine. She loves us too much to leave us.”
