Soon the coiling tension became too much to bear and he pulled her up and rolled her under him. He wanted to be inside her when he came, something that had been denied him for many, many, years. Also, he wanted her to have the most intense orgasm of her life so he could feel her tighten around his cock. He wanted to banish Viscount Iain Grafton from her memory.
She was breathing as heavily as he was. Her breasts pressed into his chest, her nipples hard.
He rose above her, the muscles of his arms standing out as they supported his weight. He wanted a moment to soak in the vision of her. “I never thought you’d ever be in this bed with me like this. I will cherish being here with you, cherish this memory, until I die.”
A tear leaked from the corner of her eye. “Just love me. Banish the past for good.”
He needed no further encouragement. Pushing her thighs wide, he slowly entered her tight, wet sheath, never taking his eyes from hers. Only when he was seated deep within her body did he let his eyelids close. He held still, savoring this moment.
Finally his body urged him to move. He went slowly, willing his own needs away, wanting to drive Flora’s desire skyward. Their joining was heaven, and soon her response made his body throb with sensation. He could feel the rampant need rushing through her into him. His desperate longing caused his heart to ache. She would always be his and only his, no matter the past or what the future held.
The tenderness of their lovemaking gave way to a firestorm of need. In the throes of passion they moved as if one, drinking in each other’s cries, shuddering with each thrust, and soon he could feel the pinnacle approaching and … he couldn’t do it. He pulled from her body and spilled his seed on the sheets.
As the waves of intense pleasure lessened he realized they were clutching each other tightly. He rolled to his side taking Flora with him but she lay stiffly in his arms.
They lay like that for several minutes until their breathing slowed and the stars of ecstasy faded.
He heard Flora softly ask, “Will it always be like that?”
At first he thought she meant the wondrousness of the moment. The closeness, the pleasure, and the love that was evident in the act. But her next words gutted him like a fish.
“You have fears, well, I have fears too. Do you know what my biggest fear is? That I will never get to hold a babe in my arms. It’s likely that I never will, but I still have hope.” She turned her head to look at him and he saw a tear leak from her eye. “I won’t marry you if you take that small chance away. If you cannot make love to me as you would a wife, then I will walk away regardless of the fact I love you so much.”
Panic coursed his body until he could barely breath. “It was merely a reflex action. I’ve been doing that for years.”
She searched his face. “We have the rest of the night. When we make love again I expect you to treat me as if I was your wife, not a mistress you don’t want to have fall with child.”
She hugged him tight, but then she moved off to lie next to him. He lay staring up at the ceiling for a long while.
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
CHAPTER 7
AT LEAST DOUGRAY was being honest with her. She rose and began to gather her clothes.
“I have given up a lot because of a decision you made about us, without me, many years ago. If you want me to become your wife we will make decisions together in future. My decision is that I want the chance to see if I can have a child of my own. If you cannot face your fear and allow me my dream then I will find a man who will.”
He sat up and she could barely think to dress herself with his glorious nakedness before her, especially after the wonderful moment they just shared. Never had she experienced such passion, such release, that is, until he’d pulled from her body as if she were one of his ‘women’.
“I thought you understood. I thought you knew that I can only marry you because you can not get with child. I don’t want to risk something happening to you?”
“You stupid man. All of life is a risk. Look at Iain. A bee felled him. A bee! We do not know what the future holds for any of us. I’m not God, you are not God.” She sank down onto the edge of the bed and began to pull on her stockings. “If I become your wife I want the chance to give you a son. To have your child and to do that I would risk everything and anything, even my life.”
“I won’t.”
She looked over her shoulder at him and his face was stark with terror.
“I look at Connor and I envy Connie. I envy a dead woman because she gave you him. I would have changed places with Connie gladly if it meant I created something so perfect. If it meant a part of me would be here after me.”
When he looked away she whispered, “You might want to live a safe little life but I want to embrace life and face the risks, because the joys we might receive are worth it. Can you honestly say you wish Connor had never been born?”
“That’s not fair.”
