Pain ripped across his face. “I thought what I was doing was right.” He looked away and began to talk. “I was ten years old when my mother died in childbirth. I remember it like it was yesterday. The screams went on for hours, getting weaker and weaker until there was silence and I heard a baby’s cry. My father was not home and I was trying to be the man of the house. I went racing up the stairs and into her room and all I saw was blood. There was so much blood on the floor I skidded on it and fell onto the blood soaked sheets of her birthing bed. Something went wrong with the birth and she bleed to death. The midwife said the baby was too big for my mother. I would have had another brother if the babe had lived.”
Flora sucked in a breath. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, and at such a young age.”
“Then when I learned of Connie’s agonizing death and the reason why, that the child was too big… I vowed I would not be the cause of another woman’s death in childbirth.”
She pressed a kiss to his cheek and turned his head to look at her. “I wished you had talked to me about your fear. Even if I could not dissuade you from your notion about childbirth I would have understood why you did what you did.”
“I think it was better that you did not know and that you could hate me.” He gave a bitter laugh. “If you had stayed my friend during your marriage I don’t know if I’d have had the strength to stay away from you.” His voice was ragged.
Flora cupped his face, and she pressed a kiss to his lips. She blinked back tears because she wanted none shed in this room or in his bed. They had both cried enough tears to last a lifetime. This would be their new special place.
“No more recriminations. Only words of love, desire, and need.”
Iain had been a considerate lover. She had not found her wifely duties terrible but neither did she understand how some woman craved their husband’s attentions, like Tessa did. “I’ve never made love before because I could not give Iain my heart. Care to show me what I have missed all these years?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m scared that when I open my eyes this will be but a dream. I can’t believe you have forgiven me.”
“I would not be here if I thought I could not put the past behind me. Open your eyes. I’m here. For as long as you want me.”
The look of pain reflected in Dougray’s eyes when he opened them made her heart ache. She wrapped her arms about his neck and snuggled closer. “Make love to me.”
He shuddered against her as he pulled her tight into his embrace. She felt safe. Loved. All she could think was how fervently she wanted Dougray, how much she needed him to show her how much he loved her.
His mouth found hers and gently sought entrance. All it took was a sigh into his mouth for his kiss to grow desperate, as if he needed her to save his soul.
Her questing hands began to undress him, and when she broke from his kiss to press her lips to his bare chest, he gathered himself and began to unhook her gown.
“You unman me,” he whispered.
“I hope not. I’m expecting wonderful things,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.
He tried to stop the shudder of fear that hit him. What if she wasn’t barren, what if she fell with child. He could not bear to lose her.
As if sensing his mental withdrawal, she urged him to lie back as she finished undressing him and then herself.
Once they were both naked she kissed his entire body slowly, letting her soft tresses sweep his body in a sensual caress as she moved lower. He was already heavily aroused, and the erotic image of her leaning over him, her full breasts hanging tantalizingly over his chest, caused him to harden even further. When Flora’s tongue licked the tip of his erection his hips rose off the bed.
He lost track of how long her mouth tortured him. He grew light-headed as she attended to him, licking, stroking, and exploring every inch of him. She paid special attention with her tongue to his nipples before delivering a feather-light kiss to his stomach. His muscles clenched in a mixture of tenderness and wrenching desire.
He’d never wanted or needed her more.
When her luscious lips slid down his shaft, his hands tangled in her hair. Dougray whispered her name over and over as she loved him with her mouth. She ran her tongue up and down his rampant erection, intermittently taking him deep into her mouth, sucking him. His eyes squeezed shut. He wouldn’t last long if he watched this delicious sight.
