I listened to Mom and Aaron make their farewells to the counselor before Mom left the room. Then I listened to her walk through a few doors, heard something that sounded like the lock of a toilet stall click, and finally Mom’s sobbing.
Listening to Mom crying through the bug I had on her phone was surprisingly hard for me. I suspected it was because of the definitive end of her marriage, and her crying about this caused conflicting feelings in me.
On one hand, I could still understand why she would be saddened by the end of a twenty-year marriage, and I wanted to comfort her. On the other hand, it made me wonder if she would have rather stayed with him despite everything that happened.
When Mom made it back into my apartment a few hours later, she had cleaned up well enough to not show any signs of her crying. To my big surprise, though, the very first thing she did after stepping through the door, was to embrace me in a tight hug. She didn’t say anything while holding onto me, nor did she answer when I asked where that hug came from, but when I wrapped my arms around her shoulders to return the hug while holding her head to my chest, she, again, simply took a deep breath as if to take in my scent.
After about a minute, she simply let go of me and walked into her bedroom.
I had not called her while she cried in that bathroom. I wasn’t trusting myself to not make a stupid comment about the possible reasons for her emotional outburst and reveal that I listened in on her. Instead, I had decided to prepare her favorite meal, placed a bottle of white wine in the fridge, and let her speak at her own pace if she needed to.
It worked. As soon as she stepped out of her room after changing her clothes, smelling the frying catfish and hush puppies, her face relaxed into a smile. Then she stepped into the kitchen, hugged me from behind, and held onto me while I worked on dinner.
This even intensified when Ava returned from her shopping trip to Ikea with Maggie and John. Not only did my sister immediately pick up on Mom’s mood, she seemed to also reach the same conclusion as I had. So, instead of asking what happened, she simply joined us in the dinner preparations by asking me to talk her through preparing the tartar sauce.
Mom’s mood improved a lot as she silently watched her children prepare a family meal. The smile on her face when we finally sat down and ate was warm and happy.
When we sat on the couch afterwards, I had Mom and Ava cuddled up to me on either side, each holding a glass of white wine, and it took a while of silence before Mom felt like talking.
“The counselor decided today that we no longer have to attend any more sessions.” she said out of the blue. “She’s going to inform the judge, so the divorce can continue.”
Ava and I both thought about that for a few seconds.
“And ... how do you feel about that?” Ava asked.
“Scared, to be honest.”
“Why?”
Mom sighed.
“The fact that your father left Tim alone in the hospital had her realize that our problems go beyond what she could work on. Her job was to try and make us find some common ground. Overcome our differences to the point we could work together. In reality, Aaron would need to work out his differences with Tim, and not only is that outside her expertise, it would definitely take more than the twelve sessions the Judge had ordered.”
As Mom explained this, she had wrapped herself around my arm, in addition to holding my hand in both of hers.
“But, why does that make you scared?” I asked, still not understanding her emotional outburst.
“When the judge hears about that, there’s no way for Aaron to gain custody of you.” I snorted at that, like I would’ve ever gone along with that anyway. Though, she ignored it to instead continue in a low voice. “But, with me being basically unemployed, homeless, and penniless, I’m not sure I will be awarded custody either. I can’t lose you again, Tim. I just can’t.”
I couldn’t help it. Despite the dire mood, that last statement of hers made me extremely happy.
“Mom ... I’m pretty sure that’s not how this works.” I smiled.
“It’s not?” Ava managed to ask first.
“I don’t think so.” I said while shaking my head, before turning my attention back to Mom. “If the state hates one thing, it’s giving away money. And if you don’t get custody, while Aaron can’t get custody, the state would have to pay for me. So, you’ll get custody.”
It was a poor attempt at a joke, but it worked. I felt her body relax against me and saw a weak smile appear on her face before I continued.
“Seriously, though. Remember what your lawyer said in January. Because of my apartment, there’s a
