Sweet Addiction полностью

Ren would never choose between the two men and neither were going to let her go. But one of them had to. It was the only way. Ren would tear herself apart and above all, Cole wanted her to be happy.

So he’d made the decision for her. He’d sent her away because it was the only thing for him to do. If he stood and fought for her, even if he won, she’d never be happy with him because Lucas would always be between them.

If he let her go, eventually she’d get over her sense of betrayal, just as she’d done before and Lucas would be there every step of the way. She’d be happy again.

Together they’d both be miserable. Apart, only he would be miserable. It was a hell of a note and two days ago he’d have said that nothing on earth would keep him and Ren apart. But it was a selfish vow and an unrealistic one at that.

He’d been a fool to barge into her life again and manipulate her as he’d done. He knew exactly why Lucas had agreed to the bargain. Lucas had taken a calculated gamble and the bastard had won.

And once again, Cole had lost the only thing that had ever mattered to him.

“Why did you do it?” Ren choked out.

She sat huddled on the couch in Lucas’s home, a home that hadn’t been hers for two weeks. An eternity. She clutched the blanket around her, more for comfort than for true warmth. It was perfectly comfortable in Lucas’s house. As it always was.

She glanced around, half expecting things to be changed. Her presence somehow washed away. But it was still littered with many of the things she and Lucas had chosen together. And there were her things as well. Her books. A purse. A pair of her shoes. A scarf. Things that ordinarily should have been put away, but it was as if he’d left them out as reminders.

Lucas stood staring out the window a short distance away, his body tense and brooding. Silence fell between them and she pushed where before she’d never have dared. She wanted—deserved—an answer.

“Why did you send me to him? If you weren’t tired of me. If you weren’t moving on and seizing the opportunity to make sure I was taken care of. If none of those are the reasons, then why, Lucas?”

He turned then, something fierce flashing in his eyes. “Because I bloody well love you. All right? Happy now that you’ve managed to strip me to the barest of layers? I’m bleeding before you, Ren. I’m as vulnerable as a man can be when the woman he loves sits crying over another man.”

She blinked in astonishment and then she gave him a bewildered look. “I don’t understand. If you loved me then why did you look right through me when I saw you at the restaurant? If you loved me, why on earth would you send me back into the arms of a man who once hurt me so badly? Are you insane?”

He laughed, a dry, humorless laugh that made her wince.

“Insane? That’s one word for it. At the restaurant …Do you even know why I was there?”

She shook her head.

“I was there because I knew it was where you’d be and I wanted just a glance. I wanted to see how you were. If that bastard was taking care of you. And what did I see? I saw you smiling and laughing and looking so damn happy that it damn near killed me. And I knew if I looked at you, I’d damn well be on my knees begging you for forgiveness and asking you to come back with me that minute. But I gave my word and you looked happy,” he said in a bitter voice.

She covered her face with her hands. And then he was there in front of her, kneeling on the floor as he gently pulled her hands away from her face.

He held her wrists captive in front of her as he stared into her eyes. “You asked me why, Ren. I’ll tell you why. Because when you met him again, I saw something in you. I saw a spark of something that made me uneasy. Seeing that also made me realize several things. Mainly that I loved you and the thought of losing you made me crazy.”

Her mouth popped open but he released one of her wrists and put his finger across her lips. “Let me finish.”

She nodded and he let his hand fall away.

“I had to come to terms very quickly with the fact that you weren’t like other women I’d been with. What I felt for you wasn’t just sexual or me fulfilling a kink. And it befuddled me. I’ve made a practice of not getting emotionally entangled with women. But you snuck up on me. I can’t even tell you the point in which my feelings for you changed. Just that they did. With any other woman but you I would have sent you to Cole and been happy to do so. I wouldn’t have felt like my guts had been ripped out and I wouldn’t have counted the days until I could return for you. I would have moved on as you accused me of doing.”

“I still don’t understand,” she said tearfully.

“I wanted you to be happy, Ren,” he said quietly. “If Cole was the person who was going to make you happy, then I wanted you to have your chance with him. Did I want you to go? Hell no. But I thought you should go so that maybe when you returned to me—if you returned to me—you could let go of the past and embrace your future …with me.”